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Older & wiser – our 6 year blogging birthday


Today is A Subtle Revelry’s blogging birthday! We’ve been blogging for 6 years you guys! It feels so crazy to even say that. I’ve taken the last couple weeks off work to process where we are and where we are going. I did not take a vacation. I did not go anywhere. Vacations with kids in tow are not the place to make plans about anything, except naps!

Instead, I dropped my kids off at school and wandered. I drove. I read. I let my brain rest a bit. It’s been 6 years since I’ve really done this for more than 3.5 hours (at which point I would always realize there was a deadline I was missing and damn I need to grab something from Target for that shoot later this week. And now I’m late to the PFA meeting again.) This time though was for real.

I’ve often heard that success for many of our favorite TV shows has looked eerily similar – 6 seasons and a movie. That is a pretty great line of defining success in the TV show industry. Anyone can walk away after that saying… I did it. I accomplished success.

In the blog world… it’s hard not to see the reverberations. 6 years and a book. 6 years and an app. 6 years and a… a way out.

But now that I am here, I’m 6 years and a book in. Only, I don’t really want to leave. But in some ways I definitely do. Shows can’t last forever.

So I’ve considered my options… create a team, lean in, be the boss, launch, launch, relaunch, 2nd book production, shoots, sponsors, app development, product lines, coffee, coffee, have I had my coffee yet? We forgot the damn library book on library day again! Yeah, hunny I’m almost done for the night. One more email. I’ve got to manage all this… Stress.

I’ve read a number of books on this. At times its been my mantra. It is in a real sense, how I’m wired; my type A don’t rest, keep pushing, crazy self. If that’s where you are in your life. In your business. On your blog. It’s an awesome place to be. Having the passion and drive to be there is exhilarating. I coach people weekly on how to do this part well. But you can’t live on that high forever.

Older/Wiser birthday cake

For most of us there is a very real time, a very real place for this. If you ever want to build something you’ve got to lean in for a time. But TV shows don’t go on forever. The production level is just too brutal on everyone involved.

My second option is to slow down, let it evolve – be in it… but also… let go a little. This is where I have landed. So things are going to slowly begin to change around here. So slow you might not even notice:) Hopefully you’ll like it. A transition like this looks different to everyone. Here’s what it means to me.

1. It’s okay to be good and sometimes exceptional

I actually do have an exciting product announcement coming later this year. I think it’s going to be good. Really good. But I’ve learned I cant be great at everything (especially not all at once!). So focusing on one area of business growth that will be exceptional – means that other areas (ie. our second book) will be put on the back burner and that is good enough for now. I think it might be something about being in my thirties or whatever – but I’ve actually become completely okay not being awesome at everything.

2. Running a lifestyle business is allowed

I heard the term “lifestyle business” this month defined as a business you run to support a lifestyle you want. It is an intentional business model. It is opposed to growth for the sake of growth. But instead, healthy, steady growth that allows your life to look the way you imagine it to look. This is different for everyone and I’ll be posting soon on a few exercises I did to figure out what it looks like for me.

A Subtle Revelry is not going public. I am not going to work 60 hrs a week to grow a Martha Stewart size company. For some that is the dream… For me, I’d have to give up too much of my dream lifestyle to achieve it.

And yes, I’ve read all the books. Work hard now so you can rest later. Build it big, cash it out… But what if I want to rest sometimes now? In the late afternoon sun, sharing ice cream cones with my two 6 years olds who might be too busy for me later? What if I can continue to be present in this space, but also present with them? When it comes down to it… That is REALLY the business plan I want.

3. You don’t have to be boss

I’m just going to come right out and say it. Over the past 3 years as we’ve brought on more and more of a team to keep pushing, keep running. I have learned that I am the WORST boss. Literally the worst. I have insanely high expectations, I often don’t know how to put them into words. I’m emotional and always needing whatever it is – done like, yesterday. They could make a show about how horrible of a boss I am. I don’t like being a boss. This doesn’t mean I won’t have help as I need it. Assistance in crafting, admin support, a team of awesome contributors lending their creative voices to the site. It does mean however that having my job title be BOSS, having my days be filled with managing people, instead of creating content, is not something I am going to subject myself (or the poor people who would end up on my payroll) to.

Expect to see a bit more about life and how we find revelry in the daily as we move forward. Expect to see more about business and blogging as my passion for sharing these things increases again. And not to worry, our forever love for crafting and parties isn’t going anywhere. Cheers to 6 years – let’s do 6 more!!! xoxo

(Photography ©Laura Stolfi/ Stocksy International).


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  1. congrats victoria and team!! quite a feat. love all of the thoughts above – my blog will be 7 in august … i’ve had highs and lows and more highs and slumps … refining, redefining, redesigning, learning and growing. what a process. here’s to more wonderful things to come for you and your biz!

  2. Happy Birthday! Sometime in April was my 7th – and I can’t believe it’s a career for so many of us. I have an undergrad degree in Forestry and an MBA in business – and this is my 10th job since I graduated from college 16 years ago. My point is . . . I’ve kind of never known what I want to do for a living forever and I feel like this is just a stop gap too. And at each stop I get to meet awesome people like you :D Congratulations for making it to 6!

    • Amy, I would never have guessed you had a degree in Forestry! How funny:) Life is so amazing like that – right!?!

  3. I’m so glad you shared this! Though my site is definitely not of the magnitude that your incredible business has grown to, I definitely know what it’s like to take on too much, to work late into the night every night, to not be present … ever. Definitely like the idea of a “lifestyle business”. I may just need to take a day off myself! (And congrats on all of your success, of course.)

    • Lexi, you totally deserve a day off.. heck take a week off! I promise the clarity it brings is well worth the missed work. xoxo

  4. Happy birthday to your blog!! I look forward to the next 6! Your big news sounds exciting!! Love whereever you take this blog!

    Have a beautiful day!

  5. There must be something in the air…I too have been taking time away from my blog to think, to evaluate, to get perspective and direction. It is so lovely to read your thoughts. Congratulations on 6 years, and to giving yourself the space to think and the freedom to change and grow. I look forward to seeing your where this new direction takes you, and us your readers! Bec xoxo

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